As many people close to me have already observed, I've turned into a bit of a hippie since getting pregnant. Or at least I've been accused of it. If plans for cloth diapering, homemade baby food and natural childbirth a hippie make, so be it. (Oh and I'm tie-dying onesies next week. Haha.) However, my inclination toward mockery of anything I consider touchy-feely, New Agey prevails. Thus Dave and I were skeptical before our first Hypnobirthing class last week. It was suggested by a friend, I did some further reading, and our birth center offered it so we figured we'd give it a whirl. I wanted to take a birthing class of some kind. I've been doing a truckload of reading but Dave wanted something more hands-on. We fully anticipated chanting and crystals and a bunch of people we couldn't stand (think Maggie Gyllenhall in "Away We Go").
Not so! We both really liked the class and I'm looking forward to the next 4 weeks. And get this-I'm actually excited about the birth itself. I didn't harbor a lot of fear about labor and birth as it was, my mindset has firmly been "my body is built for this, I'm low-risk and healthy, I can do it naturally and normally without intervention". However there's always some anxiety and what-ifs and I can't say I've felt "excitement" about my actual birth experience til now.
I plan on sharing a little about what Hypnobirthing is and our experience with it. Sort of be the guinea pig for anyone who's interested.
Basically Hypnobirthing says women's bodies are completely capable of birthing their babies without help, birth is a natural process and not a medical event. The pain associated with birth is a culturally-based, fear-induced pain that is not necessary (they do not dismiss childbirth pain as unreal, rather as something that doesn't need to be experienced) and women can train their minds and bodies to birth comfortably and gently through self-hypnosis (essentially guided relaxation and deep breathing). The anecdotal and scientific evidence surrounding Hypnobirthing's success rate is staggering. I encourage anyone to research it.
That's an extremely basic description of the philosophy. With the class comes a book, CDs and other materials, and the method requires practice and commitment at home. It does not guarantee a painless, "perfect" birth without intervention. Everyone's birth experience and body is different, and sometimes there are complications and genuine medical emergencies that arise. However, another part of Hypnobirthing I love is the complete absence of focus on any negative. There is no class or chapter on complications or risks of childbirth. No what-ifs are presented. The philosophy does not encourage denial of these realities, rather that for one's mind to be in the right place, it must be totally focused on the positive. I figure the preponderance of negative birth images and people's propensity to share "horror stories" of birth (what IS that about?) with pregnant women already far outweighs the positive birth information in our society. Why add to it in a class that is striving for mind over fear?
I'm explaining this because it has motivated me to make a decision-I will no longer listen to or accept negative information about birth. No more horror stories, no more "but you have to hear this", no more "NICU" or "A Baby Story", no more women screaming on their backs. I'm fully aware of the importance for all women to share their birth experiences, negative or positive, and I'll be happy to hear your positive encouraging story, but please wait until after I've brought the kid into the world to regale me with tales of blood, sweat and tears. Dave and I spent a lot of time and effort to find the caring, competent midwives we have and I completely trust them to know what to do in the event of a complication or true medical emergency. That's why they went to school and dedicated their careers to birthing babies. They have attended over 700 births between them...I have attended 0. They are the professionals. It is their responsibility to know what to do in the very small chance there is a problem. My responsibility is to trust Dave, my body and my baby to have a calm, gentle and natural birth.
I feel the need to declare this for a couple reasons: A. my first baby shower is less than a week away and I've been to a few that have descended into horror storytelling, with everyone contributing a "well my friend's sister-in-law's neighbor needed 27 stitches" tale to top the previous one. I love the idea of a group of people who care about the parents-to-be getting together to express their support and share the couple's joy. (And if there's a Bloody Mary bar for the non-preggos, all the better). I just think negativity has no place in this celebration. B. I'm getting kind of sick of the eye rolling, derisive snorting and incredulous or snide commenting ("you don't have a DOCTOR??!!" and "just wait, you'll be screaming for drugs") I get the majority of the time in response to my desire for an intervention-free, midwife-attended childbirth outside a hospital. Especially because I cannot conceive of reacting in a similar fashion to someone else's planned C-section or desire for an epidural. Its wonderful that women have choices in childbirth. I'm not trying to be a hero or a martyr, just making the choice that works best for me and my family.
