"Have you had that kid yet?"

Nothing like being too big to get out of the car to make a pregnant girl feel pretty. Here's the tale:

Dave's mom, Gloria, and I were returning from my weekly midwife appointment and her Suburban was parked on the ferry. I had to pee, per usual, and attempted to exit the vehicle. Unfortunately, the space between the car door and the center wall of the boat was a good 12 inches shy of belly clearance. This led to several minutes of Gloria, along with 2 ferry employees, maneuvering the giant SUV into a position where the whale in the passenger seat could get out to empty her ever-demanding bladder. I saw car doors opening and heads peering out of windows all over the boat to see what all the commotion was about. Based on a previous experience (I stumbled walking off the boat a couple months ago. Went down on one knee. Not a big deal. Upon meeting a woman for the first time on the Island recently, she said, "Oh, I heard about your fall on the boat. Everyone was really worried." My FALL?? Its not like I tumbled down a flight of stairs and had to be triaged. I stumbled. STUMBLED.), I'm pretty sure this incident will be on the front page of the Washington Island Observer. Sigh.

A mere 1 1/2 weeks til D-Day. I can't say I'm super anxious/excited/worried etc. Not that I'm not looking forward to the inside kid being an outside kid, but the strange calm that descended earlier on in this pregnancy has fallen again. Which is a vast improvement to my standard high-anxiety state over the most mundane of life changes. And I have to say, I'm no longer feeling the "get this kid out of me" urgency I was a few short weeks ago. Make no mistake, I'm ready. I'm just letting everyone else get all excited and worked up for me...we're averaging at least 2 "check-ins" per day ie: "Are you in labor?" "Any signs?" "How are you feeling?", and my favorite, from the always succint Ms. Olive, "Lost your mucus plug yet?" (Answer: no.)

In case I don't have a chance to post another blog pre-delivery, I'm going to take this opportunity to bookend my gestation with another list of some unanticipated pros of pregnancy:

-The joy of having a sweet tooth. Never before have I understood how profoundly gratifying it is to give into the siren song of a glazed donut.
-An expanded awareness of the variety of bodily fluids in existence: meconium, lochia, colostrum...who knew?
-Built-in (literally) entertainment everyday watching my stomach move. Fascinating.
-I've discovered how much I like to swim. Thanks to breech boy I started swimming to turn him and haven't stopped.
-Almost 10 months hangover-free.
-My family relationships have become much closer.


And finally, a brief Hynobirthing update, since we finished the 5 week class: my opinion hasn't really changed from the first class. I love the support of natural birth, the approach to viewing the whole thing as what it is, a normal function that women's bodies are capable of, focusing on the positive, using breathing and meditation to quell fear and as a result, pain etc. However, 5 classes was a bit much. I got all that from one class and reading the books. Maybe because our frame of reference included a 6 hour round trip journey and an overnight stay to get to the class, we didn't find it as worthwhile as the couple who just drove across town. I'd recommend it to anyone as a tool, but maybe just buy the book and do a one-day class or workshop. Also, thanks to my firmly entrenched procrastination habits, I haven't exactly been practicing the techniques everyday like I'm supposed to. Overall effectiveness in labor as a result?
To be determined.

Much like a lot of things in the next few weeks.

You Are Getting Veeeerrrry Sleeeeeeppppyyyyy....

As many people close to me have already observed, I've turned into a bit of a hippie since getting pregnant. Or at least I've been accused of it. If plans for cloth diapering, homemade baby food and natural childbirth a hippie make, so be it. (Oh and I'm tie-dying onesies next week. Haha.) However, my inclination toward mockery of anything I consider touchy-feely, New Agey prevails. Thus Dave and I were skeptical before our first Hypnobirthing class last week. It was suggested by a friend, I did some further reading, and our birth center offered it so we figured we'd give it a whirl. I wanted to take a birthing class of some kind. I've been doing a truckload of reading but Dave wanted something more hands-on. We fully anticipated chanting and crystals and a bunch of people we couldn't stand (think Maggie Gyllenhall in "Away We Go").

Not so! We both really liked the class and I'm looking forward to the next 4 weeks. And get this-I'm actually excited about the birth itself. I didn't harbor a lot of fear about labor and birth as it was, my mindset has firmly been "my body is built for this, I'm low-risk and healthy, I can do it naturally and normally without intervention". However there's always some anxiety and what-ifs and I can't say I've felt "excitement" about my actual birth experience til now.

I plan on sharing a little about what Hypnobirthing is and our experience with it. Sort of be the guinea pig for anyone who's interested.

Basically Hypnobirthing says women's bodies are completely capable of birthing their babies without help, birth is a natural process and not a medical event. The pain associated with birth is a culturally-based, fear-induced pain that is not necessary (they do not dismiss childbirth pain as unreal, rather as something that doesn't need to be experienced) and women can train their minds and bodies to birth comfortably and gently through self-hypnosis (essentially guided relaxation and deep breathing). The anecdotal and scientific evidence surrounding Hypnobirthing's success rate is staggering. I encourage anyone to research it.

That's an extremely basic description of the philosophy. With the class comes a book, CDs and other materials, and the method requires practice and commitment at home. It does not guarantee a painless, "perfect" birth without intervention. Everyone's birth experience and body is different, and sometimes there are complications and genuine medical emergencies that arise. However, another part of Hypnobirthing I love is the complete absence of focus on any negative. There is no class or chapter on complications or risks of childbirth. No what-ifs are presented. The philosophy does not encourage denial of these realities, rather that for one's mind to be in the right place, it must be totally focused on the positive. I figure the preponderance of negative birth images and people's propensity to share "horror stories" of birth (what IS that about?) with pregnant women already far outweighs the positive birth information in our society. Why add to it in a class that is striving for mind over fear?

I'm explaining this because it has motivated me to make a decision-I will no longer listen to or accept negative information about birth. No more horror stories, no more "but you have to hear this", no more "NICU" or "A Baby Story", no more women screaming on their backs. I'm fully aware of the importance for all women to share their birth experiences, negative or positive, and I'll be happy to hear your positive encouraging story, but please wait until after I've brought the kid into the world to regale me with tales of blood, sweat and tears. Dave and I spent a lot of time and effort to find the caring, competent midwives we have and I completely trust them to know what to do in the event of a complication or true medical emergency. That's why they went to school and dedicated their careers to birthing babies. They have attended over 700 births between them...I have attended 0. They are the professionals. It is their responsibility to know what to do in the very small chance there is a problem. My responsibility is to trust Dave, my body and my baby to have a calm, gentle and natural birth.

I feel the need to declare this for a couple reasons: A. my first baby shower is less than a week away and I've been to a few that have descended into horror storytelling, with everyone contributing a "well my friend's sister-in-law's neighbor needed 27 stitches" tale to top the previous one. I love the idea of a group of people who care about the parents-to-be getting together to express their support and share the couple's joy. (And if there's a Bloody Mary bar for the non-preggos, all the better). I just think negativity has no place in this celebration. B. I'm getting kind of sick of the eye rolling, derisive snorting and incredulous or snide commenting ("you don't have a DOCTOR??!!" and "just wait, you'll be screaming for drugs") I get the majority of the time in response to my desire for an intervention-free, midwife-attended childbirth outside a hospital. Especially because I cannot conceive of reacting in a similar fashion to someone else's planned C-section or desire for an epidural. Its wonderful that women have choices in childbirth. I'm not trying to be a hero or a martyr, just making the choice that works best for me and my family.