Dear Max

You are 6 months old. In that short (endless) time I think we've done alright. You are almost triple your birth weight and your brain is growing at an alarming rate based on the size of your head. We finally have a semblance of a schedule and you nap for longer than 30 minutes (with only a teeny bit of help from me). You sit up by yourself, roll over (front to back), smile at strangers, emit a variety of sounds other than crying (baa, gaa, shrieking, shouting, and the most annoying bleating/whining noise I can only think means "please Mama, leave me on the side of a mountain.")

I live for your belly laughs, toothless grins and curly little toes. (They were peeking at me while you were napping the other day, just begging to be eaten. You don't know how close you came to being footless.) You're working on your first tooth-I can see the pointy little edges pushing through your gums. You're being pretty brave about it, but I know it hurts you sometimes (see aforementioned bleating/whining noise). You've started crying when I leave your sight, a development that makes the baby jail walls close in around me and my heart expand to bursting all at once.

I love watching you try to figure things out, your little eyebrows scrunching as you realize, "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH, my toy is UNDER the blanket!". You don't really like (ie: scream bloody murder) getting your diaper changed lately, something that is profoundly annoying considering its something we need to do for awhile. I want you to sleep a little longer at night, but never want our early morning snuggle sessions to end.

You have turned me into every motherhood cliche. I can barely remember what my life was like without you, the time is going too fast, yoga pants and a ponytail IS appropriate for everyday wear, the idea of an afternoon to myself leaves me reeling with the possibilities, I struggle to find topics of conversation other than you, and taking care of you is the hardest job I've ever done.

You are my heart, little boy, out in the world and I love you.